existentialism in the shower...

9/22/12

Not a ton of interesting stuff happening in the last day or so. I went to the activities fair to sign up for some clubs (called societies here). The room was so crowded though I couldn’t really talk to people. I signed up for the archaeology society, Harry potter society (I know so geeky!) and the belly dancing society. I have always wanted to take belly dancing classes so I figured this was the best time to try. To further the correlation between archaeology and drinking, with my archaeology society membership card I get 10% off at the Red deer pub (the one closet to the department, we all hang out there).  After the activities fair I went to the bookstore and bought my lab coat for my lab work. I’m so happy that I have come to a point in my academic career where I can wear a lab coat. For my human anatomy class we do dissection on an actual human cadaver, how bad ass is that? My friend Caroline and I have decided that we will need a fainting couch to swoon onto.

Today I went and officially registered for my classes. I was expecting a huge queue but it actually went by pretty fast.  I also got my new student ID! They let us choose our own picture so I used my current face book profile picture (thanks Paige!).  I stopped by Tesco on my way home to pick up a few things.  I discovered that Tesco only carries 3 different kinds of shaving razors, seriously I need a Wegmans.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I’ve come to be here at Sheffield. I’ve had kind of an unconventional path to archaeology. I feel in many ways that I came here by pure fate, that if a few of my choices had changed I wouldn’t be sitting here.  I originally went to school for International Studies. I wanted to work for charities in international aid, like the United Nations, and UNICEF.  By the end of my sophomore year I had burned out of it. After my internship with Intervol I realized how much actual desk/office work was involved in charity work, which is not something I wanted out of life. I was sitting in Paige’s room after a rough day at school and we were talking about classes for the upcoming year. She had mentioned she was going to take an archaeological field methods course.  The class was being taught by a professor, Dr. Ramsay, that was going to bring students to Jordan the next summer. I have always wanted to go to the Middle East, but Brockport never offered any study abroad programs there. I wanted to go on the trip badly, but I knew a trip like that generally the professor chooses who to take. To get to know Dr. Ramsay better I signed up for her class with Paige. I immediately hounded Dr. Ramsay with emails about the trip and how I could apply. I’ve noticed that once I set my mind on something, I pursue it almost single mindedly until I achieve it. And I had definitely decided on going to Jordan.  

I started the class in the fall and immediately fell in love. For the first time since I started college I was excited about my classes again. I loved learning about how archaeologists uncover the past.  I was speaking to my parents with enthusiasm about my course.  Archaeology reignited my passion in academia. I declared a second major in Anthropology and was assigned Dr. Ramsay as my advisor. I even joined anthropology club and would eventually go on to become president. I think going to Jordan was the tipping point for me though. Being there in the desert, actually applying what I learned in class in the field, cemented in my mind that I wanted to pursue archaeology.

Applying to graduate school was a battle in itself. There were a few  times during the process where I thought to myself “is this really what I want to be doing?”. Anyone who has ever applied to graduate school knows that it’s a terribly difficult process. From the personal statements to the GRE’s, it’s a wonder any of us get through.  But it’s difficult for a reason, the process weeds out those who aren’t committed. We fight for our place in programs, we go through tears, and sleepless nights, and all the doubt that comes with applications. But when you get that first acceptance letter in the mail (or in my case email) it makes it all worth it.

I’ve always been a big believer in fate. And as I sit here in my dorm room, in Sheffield, in effing ENGLAND, I am never surer of it. What if I hadn’t gone to Paige’s room that day? What if she had never mentioned Jordan? Or even further back what if I had never been such good friends with Paige? We grew close first during out time in drama club together, but I almost didn’t go because I was afraid of going alone. If we want to be really particular about it, what if I had never joined orchestra? Where I eventually would meet Paige. I almost played the saxophone instead of the cello. I’m finding that it’s in these little choices we make that I see fate most clearly.

Sorry for my little rant. I had an existential moment of wonder in the shower. What I’m trying to say is that we should all be looking for the little signs of fate and of our path in our lives. That, and I owe my academic career to Paige Doerner.